how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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