We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
