We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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