I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
