R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize