I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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