Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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