Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
