yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize