My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
