Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i will never coherently bang her
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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