all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
