I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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