If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
