No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize