In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
