The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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