and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
