Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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