Farmville is her only friend.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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