i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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