I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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