I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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