they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
