Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
