Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
