I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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