I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
nutella sex= disaster
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
