my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
