i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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