I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
