3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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