Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
