Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
