i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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