she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
