When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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