if you like me you must not know who I am
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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