these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
