then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
