you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize