a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
