He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
