She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
