i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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