Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
