***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
