Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
