Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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