i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
