We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
