we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
