in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
