I'm so fucking centered right now
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
