That's intense
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
