Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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