You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
