my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
