I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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