He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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