Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
