He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
