he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
