Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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