Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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