All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i barfeds in our rink
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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