Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
