there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
