i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
