I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize