he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
