I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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