God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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