why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
