no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
did i walk over a car last night?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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