I murdered the dance floor call the cops
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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