Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize