Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
