Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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