he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize