his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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