things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Everyone says I win the strip club
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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