the new term for farting is butt boxing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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