is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
