My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
