I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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