She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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